There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
