4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize