i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Come share oat with me in your robe
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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