he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
