I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
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