We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
