I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
vagina is talking i cant
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
