Define "chronic" masturbator.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
