No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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