I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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