The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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