i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
