So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
