i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
