He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
