I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
