Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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