on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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