So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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