Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
