her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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