Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize