it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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