i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize