operation have a gay friend backfired
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
