Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Quick, to the slutcave!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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