bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
should my penis look like a turkey
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
