You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I think I am morally bankrupt
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
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