So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
