Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Come see our sink grown plant.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
