is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
