Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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