If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
