Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
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The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
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The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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