Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
It's rum buckets o'clock
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
