Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Semen is not good for contacts.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
