He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Are my feet made of real feet?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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