went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
