I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
