8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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