Kiss
Puke
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
