I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
