Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
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You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
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I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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