Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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