u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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