Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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