Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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