apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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