He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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