you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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