Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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