I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
