he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
The struggles of a small town man whore
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
