I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize