He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
