I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
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