Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize