But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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