No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
