I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
