quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
