when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize